Well, the title says it all. I mean, it's the reason many of us never pursue some of our dreams. This "fear" controls us and keeps us from doing things that we actually want to do. It stops us before we can even start. Whether it be a lack of knowledge about starting a new meal plan or trying new workouts to feeling insecure about even going to a gym or trying something new. It affects all of us.
Heck, I've had many bouts with fear. But I've always tried not to let fear make my decisions. Fear will always be there- checking in on me and asking me, "is this really what you want to be doing right now? Are you sure? What if?" and that's where I stop the conversation with fear, give myself a little reassurance, and continue on with what I want to be doing. I have no problem with fear being a passenger in my vehicle, but I will never let him drive. He can make some suggestions, and might even actually help me out sometimes, but I'll always remind him that I am in control, not him.
My latest bout with fear was starting my new job- Wildland Firefighting. Fear asked me if this was really what I wanted to be doing, if this route was better than the route I could go with my new Bachelor's Degree. Ultimately, it was. This is something that I wanted to try before I settled in to the "real world" of business and desk work. So, I took a position on an engine crew with the Washington State DNR in Wildland Fire Operations. For the past couple years I have wanted to get into fire, but didn't know where or how to start. So I googled. I was seeing all sorts of different things and never quite understood how I needed to start or what would qualify me for the job. I narrowed it down to a couple things: I needed to have a good work ethic (check), I would need to be okay with moving around (check), and I needed to take a couple basic wildland fire courses (not checked).
Once I figured out which courses I needed to take, I then needed to find out where I could take them. Soon enough I found a week long program that was being offered at South Dakota State in January over winter break, for free, perfect. I emailed the director to confirm my spot and planned my trip. Classes were from 8am to 5pm Tuesday through Friday. I couch surfed with a stranger for my stay and spent my time out of class studying my new books or checking out the fitness center on campus. After that week I was qualified as a firefighter type 2 (FFT2, very basic, entry-level wildland firefighter). I was on to my next step- applying at different agencies. As soon as I became qualified I began applying. Unfortunately, most of the job openings for federal crews had closed, so I applied to private contractors and state agencies as well. I applied in places like South Dakota, Idaho, Oregon, California, Washington, and Colorado. Ideally, I would need an agency that could offer housing, good pay, and opportunity to improve myself. However, I knew this would be my first season and was willing to make some sacrifices to make it happen.
I had polished my resume, tailored some cover letters, created a good reference sheet and started sending out applications left and right. In addition to this, I was making phone calls to folks and asking about what it was like to be working for their crew, or their agency, or their station. Fear came again at this point- saying that I looked like a fool! That all these folks were going to think I was some dumb idiot who didn't know anything! That might have been true, I was some fool that didn't really know anything- but I wanted to learn. So I told fear to fuck off, again, and continued to learn.
After a few weeks I started to get some responses. I got a couple phone calls, then an interview, then an official offer from a crew in Yakima, Washington. They were the first to offer and wanted a response quickly- so I took it. It didn't fit perfectly with what I wanted, but I knew that I might have to make some sacrifices. About a week after I took the offer I started to get interviews offers from the other agencies that I applied to in South Dakota, Oregon, and other parts in Washington (oh well). I had done it, I got a position on a Wildland Fire crew. I still had to pack test at the time, (which I eventually completed through the Minnesota DNR before moving to Washington), and there is plenty more learning to be done, but I made it to the first square of this journey! I was scared of starting initially, but I wasn't ever going to let it stop me. I hope that you, too, won't ever let Fear take the steering wheel! Or even backseat drive! Follow your heart and tune in to what your gut says, and differentiate that from the fear you might feel and the questions it might ask you! Just Keep Livin'!
Heck, I've had many bouts with fear. But I've always tried not to let fear make my decisions. Fear will always be there- checking in on me and asking me, "is this really what you want to be doing right now? Are you sure? What if?" and that's where I stop the conversation with fear, give myself a little reassurance, and continue on with what I want to be doing. I have no problem with fear being a passenger in my vehicle, but I will never let him drive. He can make some suggestions, and might even actually help me out sometimes, but I'll always remind him that I am in control, not him.
My latest bout with fear was starting my new job- Wildland Firefighting. Fear asked me if this was really what I wanted to be doing, if this route was better than the route I could go with my new Bachelor's Degree. Ultimately, it was. This is something that I wanted to try before I settled in to the "real world" of business and desk work. So, I took a position on an engine crew with the Washington State DNR in Wildland Fire Operations. For the past couple years I have wanted to get into fire, but didn't know where or how to start. So I googled. I was seeing all sorts of different things and never quite understood how I needed to start or what would qualify me for the job. I narrowed it down to a couple things: I needed to have a good work ethic (check), I would need to be okay with moving around (check), and I needed to take a couple basic wildland fire courses (not checked).
Once I figured out which courses I needed to take, I then needed to find out where I could take them. Soon enough I found a week long program that was being offered at South Dakota State in January over winter break, for free, perfect. I emailed the director to confirm my spot and planned my trip. Classes were from 8am to 5pm Tuesday through Friday. I couch surfed with a stranger for my stay and spent my time out of class studying my new books or checking out the fitness center on campus. After that week I was qualified as a firefighter type 2 (FFT2, very basic, entry-level wildland firefighter). I was on to my next step- applying at different agencies. As soon as I became qualified I began applying. Unfortunately, most of the job openings for federal crews had closed, so I applied to private contractors and state agencies as well. I applied in places like South Dakota, Idaho, Oregon, California, Washington, and Colorado. Ideally, I would need an agency that could offer housing, good pay, and opportunity to improve myself. However, I knew this would be my first season and was willing to make some sacrifices to make it happen.
I had polished my resume, tailored some cover letters, created a good reference sheet and started sending out applications left and right. In addition to this, I was making phone calls to folks and asking about what it was like to be working for their crew, or their agency, or their station. Fear came again at this point- saying that I looked like a fool! That all these folks were going to think I was some dumb idiot who didn't know anything! That might have been true, I was some fool that didn't really know anything- but I wanted to learn. So I told fear to fuck off, again, and continued to learn.
After a few weeks I started to get some responses. I got a couple phone calls, then an interview, then an official offer from a crew in Yakima, Washington. They were the first to offer and wanted a response quickly- so I took it. It didn't fit perfectly with what I wanted, but I knew that I might have to make some sacrifices. About a week after I took the offer I started to get interviews offers from the other agencies that I applied to in South Dakota, Oregon, and other parts in Washington (oh well). I had done it, I got a position on a Wildland Fire crew. I still had to pack test at the time, (which I eventually completed through the Minnesota DNR before moving to Washington), and there is plenty more learning to be done, but I made it to the first square of this journey! I was scared of starting initially, but I wasn't ever going to let it stop me. I hope that you, too, won't ever let Fear take the steering wheel! Or even backseat drive! Follow your heart and tune in to what your gut says, and differentiate that from the fear you might feel and the questions it might ask you! Just Keep Livin'!
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